I'm Not Gonna Loose Ya
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: ****In the aftermath of Kutner's death what if Wilson hadn't gone to the funeral. Recognising that House needed him what if he'd followed him for a second time to Kutner's appartment, and what if House had let his friend in this time... just briefly?


**I'm Not Gonna Lose Ya**

"Greg?" House turned suddenly at the unusual use of his forename… more surprisingly so the abbreviated use of a name which was seldomley ever used – especially as he now found himself in an apartment which wasn't even his own. The voice took him by surprise, and he swivelled round on the spot it was to stare in disbelief at the figure of the man now standing before him… Wilson.

"James…"He sighed, "I thought you were going to the funeral…"

"I figured I was needed more here." Wilson replied. "You didn't fail him Greg!" Wilson shook his head. His tone was silky, reassuring even as he spoke to his best friend, and House realised that it was a tone which Wilson normally reserved for his patients.

"I failed to notice anything out of the ordinary… I failed to notice something, anything, which might have saved him!" House snapped angrily… although it was quite clear that he was not angry at Wilson.

"Kutner kept us _all _in the dark Greg…" Wilson explained, trying to get through to his grieving friend, "…hiding from us, lying to us. He'd had years of practice, and experience… and he was good at what he did!" He sighed.

"It's my fault…" House faltered, but with this Wilson silenced him, adamant in his conviction in what he was about to say.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for this!" He insisted. "None of this was your…"

"I failed to do my job! I let him down… It's my fault!" House exclaimed.

"Kutner wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Wilson spoke gently.

"Wouldn't he?" House demanded. "How do you know Wilson? How do you know when he was evidently so good at keeping _everything _from us? Did we ever really know him? How do you know that this isn't _exactly _what he would have wanted?"

"Because he admired you." Wilson sighed. "Pitty knows why, but he wanted to be like you… he _was _like you in so many ways… and maybe that was the problem. In the end you weren't able to spot anything, because… he was too much like you…"

"I'm…sorry…" House gasped; his eyes were bloodshot with the tears he'd been fighting to suppress, and the stricken doctor stumbled on his cane as Wilson made his way forward to pull him into a tight embrace.

The doctor was uncharacteristically accepting of this gesture of comfort – allowing himself to be drawn into his best friend's arms, and held there as he cried into Wilson's shoulder. The Oncologist knew that he would probably pay for his sentiment later, but for now he could tell that what his friend needed most of all was reassurance – and although Gregory House would normally be too afraid to accept such offers of emotional support from his friends, Wilson was not too afraid to provide him with a comforting word and a shoulder to cry on. He'd been dealing with House for years... he could handle whatever the consequences of such an act might be later.

"I'm, sorry." He cried… tears by now rolling down his cheeks, although unseen by Wilson. Wilson could feel their salty ambiance soaking his shoulder.

"You're not losing your gift." Wilson reassured him, as with this and to his surprise he became aware that House hesitated slightly – before wrapping his own shaking arms around his friend's waist. "And I'm not going to lose you." He added. "House, you're human… we all make mistakes… we all miss things… and sometimes there's just nothing there to miss! You were not to blame!"

"Forgive me…" House faltered regardless of his friend's words, and Wilson realised that at that moment in time this was what his friend needed more than anything else. He sighed, as far as he was concerned there was nothing to forgive, but House was suffering and he had to say something.

"I forgive you." He replied, and as House gradually started to withdraw from Wilson's embrace – looking slightly ashamed by his uncharacteristic display as the emotional barriers were finally replaced – Wilson thought that he heard his friend mutter something one last time before he silently turned away.

"Thank You." House whispered.


End file.
